valentine's day 8+

valentine's day "He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's the Pilot" by Grandaddy which clocks in at 8:53

In which we examine the role of airplanes in rock and roll mythology....

At the risk of sounding like a Jerry Seinfeld bit, what's the deal with airlines lately?

Recent headlines have utterly swelled with a surplus of negatively angled aviation tales and tidbits, and some of them are even unrelated to the obscene price of gas and oil. Amongst the latest and greatest:

16 May - USA Today updates a story on how JetBlue forced a New York man to sit on the toilet for more than three hours on a flight from California.

20 May - An annual survey from the University of Michigan shows passengers find airlines "dismal", giving them their worst marks in customer service since 2001

20 May - Due to mechanical problems, The San Antonio Spurs have to spend the night on an airplane scheduled for Los Angeles after eliminating the Hornets from the playoffs earlier in the evening.

21 May - American Airlines announces it will begin charging fifteen dollars for passengers' first checked bags. Public outcry results.

Note the dates here, these headlines were all within the past week! Factor in the rise in public conscience and near-universal impulse to reduce carbon footprints - last we checked Radiohead wouldn't even get on a plane to play Conan O'Brien - and it appears airlines and planes are about as popular and likable as Lisa from Top Chef.

And surely we've all undoubtedly had our own personal horror stories when flying. Off the top of my head I'm thinking of past flights in which I've experienced/witnessed episodes of vomiting, being projectile vomited upon, emergency landings in Finland, emergency landings in Raleigh, panic attacks, heart attacks, merciless hangovers and more, and I certainly don't even consider myself an extensive traveler.

Yet, a wholesale dismissal of airplanes for the sake of personal vendettas, inconveniences, and ecological considerations would prevent us from examining one of the more profound sidebars in rock and roll history: the airplane's intriguing place in rock mythology (top 5 list alert). Come fly away with me....

Given the bum rap that planes, pilots, and airlines have gotten over the years, it's no surprise that most of the phenomena on this list carry negative associations. In any case, we present for your consideration a smattering of aviation-related rock and roll watershed themes and moments:

5. The Scene of the Crime - What is it about airports and planes that make musicians go bonkers and get arrested? It almost seems to be a rock and roll rite of passage: at one point in your career you will get unrepentantly shit-canned and cause a scene or try to smuggle something illegal on a plane or in an airport. Past alumni include Paul McCartney (smuggling marijuana), Keith Richards (passport problems), Axl Rose (threatening airport security), Courtney Love (air rage), Peter Buck (assaulting staff on plane), Liam Gallagher (drunkenness on plane), Ian Brown (threatening pilot), Snoop Dogg (THREE separate airport arrests), and Scott Stapp (public drunkenness, see mugshot below):

valentine's day Scott Stapp's Mugshot, taken from HERE
4. The Sign of Excess - What says "I've arrived" more than an enormous jet with your band's logo on it? Exactly. In Almost Famous, the scene where fictional band Stillwater upgrades from a bus to the plane symbolizes their absolute apex of popularity. Likewise, Led Zeppelin's ultimate flexing of their rock omnipotence came through the unveiling of THE STARSHIP (also seen in lead photo):

valentine's day Zeppelin doing their best Beatles imitation while deplaning from the Starship, HERE
This behemoth was THE singular representation of rock excess in the 70s (check the plane's inner schematics HERE to get a better idea). Nowadays, with the record industry in shambles and most musicians adopting a more ecologically responsible ethos, such extravagance has become all but extinct. The Starship can remind us all of better days though.

3. The Idol Killer - Apart from overdoses and STDs, it seems the greatest occupational hazard facing musicians is plane crashes. The number of talented lives that airplanes have claimed is staggering. Blender actually ran a piece about this a few years ago entitled "The 10 Worst Rock Star Plane Crashes". Among the unfortunate are Otis Redding, Stevie Ray Vaughn, half of Lynyrd Skynyrd, John Denver, Aaliyah, and Ozzy's BFF Randy Rhoads.

valentine's day Randy Rhoads' gravesite on the 25th anniversary of his death, from HERE
2. The Invasion Vessel - Every generation from my grandparents to Miley Cyrus can no doubt identify the iconic images of the Beatles arriving stateside for the first time in 1964. In an elaborately staged press event, the Fab Four posed and mugged amidst the enormous backdrop of the Pan Am plane that had brought them to the States, heralding the arrival of the British Invasion and beginning of drastic (and awesome) changes to the landscape of rock and roll.

valentine's day The Beatles arriving at JFK in February 1964, from HERE
1. The Day the Music Died - Not to privilege certain rock deaths over others, but this particular tragedy is worth noting as THE defining intersection between aviation and rock if for no other reason than the relative magnitude and future influence of the musicians involved. On February 3, 1959, a plane carrying three rock and roll pioneers - Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J.P. "The Big Bopper" Richardson - crashed en route to Fargo, ND, instantly killing all three. As Don McLean would later immortalize in "American Pie", this was THE day the music died.

valentine's day a photo from the crash scene, found HERE
Wow, I'm a bit depressed now. Come to think of it, airplanes kind of deserve the public's scorn....with the exception of The Starship of course.

*above image from HERE.

Buy The Sophtware Slump on Amazon.

EAR FARM's 8+ is a weekly feature that showcases songs longer than 8 minutes. In the recent past these songs were featured on EF's 8+:
Broken Social Scene - "Backyards"
Oingo Boingo - "Change"
Count Basie - "Blues For The Barbecue"
The Besnard Lakes - "You've Got to Want to Be a Star"
M83 - "Couleurs"
David Byrne - "Happy Suicide"
Fleetwood Mac - "Oh Well"
Phish - "You Enjoy Myself"

To see a full list of every song featured in EAR FARM's 8+ click HERE.