valentine's day Dogs - 1 Mrs. Jetplane - 0

valentine's day (Front Porch prior to yesterday) Scene: Wednesday afternoon around 4:45pm

It is cold and raining, the dogs needed to go outside and I heard my office phone ringing. I was expecting a phone call, it should only last 15 minutes. The dogs will end up going onto the backporch to get out of the rain. Plus they have some internal clock which tells them to start flipping out around 5pm because they know its time to eat.

I'm on the phone and I hear Charlie barking from the right side of the house. Nothing unusual, we have the houses to our left and our right for sale. People are constantly looking at them, workers inspecting things on the properties, etc. Yes, I'm sure our huge, white dog is a great selling feature...no matter... I hear his barking and just assume someone is next door. I continue with my call and its finished around 5:05 and I head to the kitchen. Charlie is at the back door and eager to get in the house. He is barking...no worries...he's just hungry. I get their food from the garage and open the door to the back deck. Charlie runs in and wants to eat..nothing new. I yell for Milo...he's not coming in... I yell "Time to Eat Dinner!" (FYI - He runs for the words Dinner, Food, and Treat no joke). Nothing. So I put my slippers on and go out to the porch and see the side gate is OPEN.

Mama Bear goes into a panic...its pouring down rain..I run to the front of the house...nothing...and I'm screaming... MILO! MILO! MILO! nothing. I run into the house, put on a coat, grab an umbrella, and throw Charlie's food into his bowl. I think to myself...do I get in the car? (Thoughts of the squeaky toy dog commercial are running through my head)

Then I look 3 houses down and through the rain I see a lil dog peeing on every in a yard...that's my Milo. I scream at him and he turns around like...What? Are you talking to me?

Yes I am you lil shit! I most certainly am talking to you. He then proceeds to go into the yard of the house for sale directly to our right and run up on the porch...during this time I see an older gentleman at the house standing in the driveway...he's been watching this whole episode for the past 5 minutes...did it NEVER OCCUR TO HIM that a lady who is screaming in her front yard with an umbrella and wearing slippers...might be looking for a little dog that is wandering around the neighborhood? Evidently not!

I pick up the lil pain in the ass and walk us back to our house. Letting him know what I think about him the whole way. Then I see something in the front yard that resembles a bird...but not really. Then I look up onto the porch and see a crow missing from my porch... I know Milo didn't do this...

Looks like the 2 of them had quite a party in the front yard while mama was on the phone... They both got put in timeout for awhile after this latest adventure...

Here is what's left of the crow...

FYI-Mr. Jetplane left the gate open... he has been punished and will be buying me a new crow from Michael's.

Lord help me when we have children...